There is nothing to compare with the pain of death.
You were here, and now you are not.
That’s all.
I search for you in photos,
Things you touched,
Things that remind me of you,
But they cannot fill the space you occupied.

The space is in me too,
Bleeding round the edges where you were torn away.
In the night, strange shapes haunt the space…
Regret, fury, fear,
All the things we might have done,
All the shattered dreams.

How can I go on with this hole inside me?

Don’t let me fill the space with the wrong things.
Don’t let me cover it up to eat from within.
Give me courage to bear the emptiness,
To hold it gently
Till the edges stop bleeding;
Till the darkness becomes friendly;
Till I see the star at its heart;
Till it becomes a fertile space
Growing new life within it.

If I had not loved, I would not have wept.
This love you have given me;
This love I have carried,
This love has carried me.

And I know that though I cannot see you, touch you,
The love does not go away.
Carried by this love,
We are not divided.